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Why we keep you around

We really despise your idealism and we just want you around so we can witness all the small ways throughout your career you compromise yourself into mediocrity. We’ll talk about it at lunch with our older coworkers, about how much potential you have (and by ‘potential’ we mean how much potential you have to validate our lives through your slowly decomposing professional integrity) and say “boy he/she is really maturing.”

Welcome to the industry.

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